Tips to calm your upset child

Raising you children is beautiful and empowering for parents but sometimes can be such a stressful and frustrating thing. Kids these days are surrounded by so many distractions that they become quite easily tired and of course that will cause them to misbehave and become frustrated and angry.

And of course that means that as a parent you will feel wound up by your child behaviour and occasionally lose your cool. And if you do and scream or slap your child in the heat of the moment you will most definitely regret after it.

So what can you do if you don’t want to be put in the shoes of the screaming parent? What should you do if you don’t want your child to later follow your steps?

Be sympathetic and listen 

It can be hard to understand why your child might want to wear a particular dress, pair of socks of trousers. Try and validate their emotions. Imagine if someone will make you wear something you don’t like. Your child will never intentionally try to drive you crazy or manipulate you. Until around 3 or 4 years old It is simply developmentally impossible as it requires a toddler to be able to understand that other people have beliefs and intentions different from their own.

If you have a toddler, remember he is just a little person amazed about this new ability to move and explore. A toddler simply doesn’t understand that his actions affect other people as he has not developed the ability to self-control. Plus, he has no sense of time so he simply can’t wait. My 3 year old daughter often says “now mummy please” and I reply “wait 1 minute” to which she replies “what’s wait mummy”. For them everything is immediate.

With my 7 year old daughter and with any other older child things are a bit different. If you feel like an older child deliberately winding you up then question yourself why they might act like that. Sometimes when my 7 year old just demands and demands I sometimes prefer to give up and give her what she wants rather than argue but that is just not the best way to act. Maybe your child also learnt that by winding you up they will always get what they want? Try to listen when your child is talking and tell him how good it is when his behaviour is positive .

Remind them to express their emotions 

Don’t cry. Don’t scream. Don’t laugh so loud. Imagine how it will be for you if someone will constantly tell you what not to do. So listen to your child and encourage him to tell you what he feels. Emotions are part of every person development.

Getting upset, frustrated, mad or angry is as normal as being happy and smiling. Explain him that even you as an adult experience a large set of emotions too.

Try and name the emotions when they happen. For example “I hear you laughing, are you happy?” , “I know you are sad mummy needs to go to work” . Naming emotions allows children to develop an emotional vocabulary and when they do it enables them to talk about their feelings.

Be an example for your child and talk about your own feelings and how you express your feelings. What do you do when you feel sad, angry or happy?

If you scream and slap when you are frustrated and angry your child will take your example. So it is better to teach them how to manage their emotions when they are still young.

Manage your own anger

Like I said above try and be an example. I know how hard it is to stop yourself reacting when you are angry. But anger usually leads to shouting and rash decisions: “Go to your room and stay there”, “That’s it no more playground or iPad for a week!”. We usually don’t follow the things we say in anger or we feels sorry after that and we take back any punishment we shouted out at them.

Plus if you do something like that you will only cause your child to get upset and anxious.  Getting angry is ok if it doesn’t control you.

Dr Victoria Samuel says it is best to:

“Tune into your body and learn to recognise early warning signs that you’re getting annoyed such as heart racing, feeling shaky or getting sweaty. Whenever you notice your body’s angry warning signs kicking in, stop what you are doing and try to look objectively at what has wound you up. This will help you to feel more in control. State your feelings, without attacking. Use ‘when…then’: “When you call me names I get upset”.Now is not a good time to get into a debate. Show willingness to resolve things but just not now – “We can talk about this tomorrow over breakfast, but right now I’m feeling too wound up”.

If your child is safe, take time out , saying “I need some time to cool down”. Remove yourself from the situation. Take deep breaths; in through your nose and out through your mouth, trying to slow your breath as much as possible. Try clenching your hands tight as you breathe in then releasing them as you breathe out. This will turn down your body’s fight-flight response and makes you feel calmer. 

If it’s hard to leave your child, use distraction techniques (counting, reciting song lyrics or a poem in your head) to stop yourself from reacting rashly. Use positive self-talk – say to yourself “I’m doing the best I can” or “Keep calm!” Displace your anger by whatever means works for you – vacuuming, singing along to a favourite song, doing exercise.”


In order to summarise all I said above and more I thought it will be good to put together the infographic below:

Tips to calm your upset child

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Source: *picture – Flickr Petr Sal



Kid Playing with leaves

Simple Ways To Make Your Child Day Better

As they grow our children’s fears and worries start to grow too. They might manifest through crying or simple belly aches but is never nice for them or for you. So why not try and make their day a bit better including them in your activities and giving them all the attention they require?

Simple Ways To Make Your Child Day Better

So slow down…and remind yourself what it is important…live a #slowlived life and have fun!

Let them help you with shopping and decide what they will have for dinner. Make a list together, go shopping and then let them help you cook it. Cutting vegetables(if they are old enough), making a salad dressing and even setting the table can give them a sense of being useful to you and that makes them happy! Do you remember how well you felt when your mum was letting helping her make those cookies? They will thrilled to spend time with you too!

Take them for a walk and stop every single time they want to. I know that probably your journey will be twice as long but once in a while you should make time for that. Stop and watch the trail of ants, admire the colourfulness of nature and answer all their questions. Do you remember how nature and the surroundings surprised you when you were a child?

Simple Ways To Make Your Child Day Better

My children love when I let them push the buttons – elevators, card machines, washing machines etc. – I don’t know but it simply gives them a sense of pleasure and control and why not let them? If they do it under your supervision they will be safe.

Spend the day playing – board games, plasticine, play doh, origami, crafting, bubbles, puddles, indoor or outdoor again they will be thrilled to spend the whole day playing with you! Forget about the mess, forget about tidying up as when they will grow they will remember you playing with them not how clean the house was.

Simple Ways To Make Your Child Day Better

Naping can be another activity you could do together. Sometimes when kids are feeling low the last thing they need is to be sent to their room and be by themselves. Even if it’s only for sleeping. So take the afternoon off and nap with them. You will give them a sense of security

Read to them. One, two or how many books they satisfy them. They like the sound of your voice this is why they like when you read them stories. I know that sometimes they might just not want to go to sleep but they will mostly just like to spend just some more time with you. Soon the day when they will ban you out of their room will come and believe me you will miss the days when they were asking for “one more story”.

Talk to them. Be there for them no matter what. Let them tell you about their worries and their upsets. And when they are happy. It is important to let them know that you are there for them no matter what. Teach them that feelings are ok and they should always talk to you about them.

Mother and daughter

I am sure there a lot more things you could do to transform your child day from a sad one to a happy one and they definitely include your presence. So please do share with us what you do with your children.


Top 3 Parenting Posts in August

Top 3 Parenting Posts {August}

I’ve been reading a lot of articles on parenting recently so i thought it will be a good idea to start a new series of posts – “Fabulous Parenting Posts”.

These are posts that made me think about my style of parenting and also made me realise that there are things that I would like to improve my ways.

Ready for Kindergarten: Social and Emotional Intelligence

by Mama Smiles

Ready for Kindergarten: Social and Emotional Intelligence

” I believe that social and emotional intelligence are two of the most important life skills for children growing up in a modern world! Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to help kids develop these skills at home, while creating memories and having fun! I wrote about developing social and emotional skills last year as well, so this year I am adding three very simple additions to last year’s list! ” read more on Mama Smiles.


by The Foster Parenthood

Please tell her she's beautiful

“I want my daughter to know she is more than lovely blonde hair, stunning blue eyes and porcelain skin.  I want my daughter to understand that the quality of her character adds up to an inherently greater value than the sum of her looks.

Strong.  Smart.  Independent.  Brave.  Funny.  Kind.  Caring.  Full of integrity.  Honest.  Loyal.  Powerful.  Strong-willed.  Capable of thinking on her own.  Daring.  Adventurous.  A world changer.”  read more on The Foster Parenthood

Teaching Children About Tolerance And Diversity

by Kiddie Matters

Teaching Children About Tolerance And Diversity

“We live in a time in which the world is becoming increasingly more diverse.  However, the Charleston church massacre that left nine people dead is a stark reminder that diversity isn’t celebrated by everyone.  The reality is that even though the world is more diverse, racism and intolerance still exists.” read more on Kiddie Matters


Hope you enjoyed our selection. If you would like to be one of the featured post too why not tweet us your post or submit it here.

14 Ways to be a better Mother

Like me you probably become a mother quite a while ago and as your kids are growing you start to question your parenting skills. I mean when kids are babies things are a lot easier as they mostly sleep and eat.

All this changes as soon as they turn two and they start asking questions. Some questions/answers are easier than others but you know well that there are questions/answers that are really hard to express.


Today we will not talk about those questions though. Today we will talk about ways you can try to be a better mum. I always try to be better than my mother used to be. I know that I will make my own mistakes. It is inevitable but this doesn’t mean that I will not try as much as I can to make sure I am being the best mum I can be for my kids.

Plan for a better tomorrow, today – Mornings can be so rushed and hectic especially if you have to take your kids to school – backpacks, lunches,outfits etc. Prepare anything you can the night before and then the next day you will be more relaxed and you will drink that cup of tea or coffee in quiet. Running around or looking through the dirty laundry to find that school jumper or sport equipment can lead to a very stressful day ahead. If you prepare most the night before can reduce the amount of stress.

Meditate – This can really help slow you down. I recently started my path into meditation and I am looking forward to see it’s benefits. Anything that can help me to be more calm during my full day of parenting is a great help.

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Don’t spend your day in your PJ’s – I know how easy it can be to do so though especially during those quiet sunday mornings or when everybody is sick. Put the effort in the morning and put on some real clothes even if that is a pair of track pants and a t-shirt. You will feel better and more ready for the day ahead.

Take care of the mess – You wake up and you find the living room floor is full of toys left from the night before. I sometimes leave mess from the night before if I am too tired. The best thing to do is to tidy the night before but if you didn’t you should take 15 minutes every morning to tidy up. You will feel better for it and you will have the space prepare for meditation. I know tidying sometimes can feel pointless especially when you have younger children but believe me all will look easier the rest of the day if you do. So make your bed, pick up the dirty clothes from the floor, take out any dirty nappies and start fresh. Even your kids will be happier when they will see that they can start to be messy on a fresh ground!

Wake up before the kids – I know that sometimes is hard to drag yourself out of bed even after your kids are out of the bed. However, waking up even 20 minutes before your kids and sitting calm and drinking that cup of tea or coffee will prepare you even for the craziest of days. Can you imagine getting a shower without small ones trying to bust in???

Make time for breakfast – I remember how sad I used to feel that I had to drink my tea and eat my toast all by myself. My mum had to leave for work really early in the morning. So if you are a stay at home mum or you just get to spend breakfast time at home why not make an event of it? Make time to start the day as a family and you will feel better for it.

Don’t Miss a moment – Sometimes hours can feel like days and sometimes the days will feel like hours. It’s inevitable and so easy these days when we spent so much time using social media and internet. Throughout the day, take a second to really take a mental picture of your life. When you kid has pulled all the toilet paper on the floor and in the toilet or you have to change yet another dirty nappy count that as a mummy moment. Find a way to record those moments mentally or physically because one day they will be missed.

Stop doubting yourself – I do that a lot. I doubt myself a lot. Ah and I worry a lot. I wonder all the time if I am doing a good job and if I look after my kids like I should. Take some time to look in the mirror and tell yourself YOU GOT THIS! Today has nothing on you. You are a mum, you are powerful and even the things will get ugly throughout the day, you can handle it! (Believe me I know that can be hard especially if you don’t feel a 100% well). Don’t let your mind get distracted by your insecurities, try and be confident and believe that you can do anything!

Take in all those little funny moments – And not only thoseYou know what I mean don’t you? That giggle, that silly question, that burp etc. that your kids happen to do through the day! All that will make you smile so stick with that smile! Take it straight to your heart and it will definitely destress your day…at least a little bit.

Consider the time you spend on social media – It is so easy to get wrapped up in social media and spend without even noticing hours on social media. Some of us use it as a way to escape, to catch up with friends, to watch funny videos or even to post pictures of your kids. I know I am guilty of the latter. One thing to do is to try and stay away from social media while you are spending time with your kids – get down on the floor and play silly games, run around with them while out in the park. They will appreciate that more than you constantly telling them: “Smile for mummy!”

Take advantage of the Nap/School/Down Time – I love down time. For now, my down time is during nap time. I get most of my work done during my kids nap. And plus I consider it my “me time” – the time when I can enjoy my hobby(blogging) , when I can watch a movie or read a book, when I can just lay on the couch without nobody saying “Mummy!”

Clean the House – You know that proud feeling when someone stops by accidentally and your house is nice and clean? It is better to maintain a house clean rather than clean the house once a week/once a month etc. I know it’s hard especially if your kids are small. I have moments when everything is a mess especially when I’m just not feeling too we. Knowing how to organise your cleaning stuff ,involving your kids if they are old enough and making it fun can get the whole cleaning bit a lot easier.  My eldest loves to help me clean because we make her chores into a game that has a prize at the end.

Family Fun Time – Forget those piles of clothes to iron or dishes to wash! Your kids and the time you spend with them is THE most IMPORTANT thing you need to do. I am not saying to keep your house dirty I am just telling you to treasure the time you have together as families.Creating time to make memories is something every mum and parent should do.  Pick one day from every week and make it “The family home day/evening”, create a family fun bucket list where every one can pitch their own idea of fun. No matter what you schedule is like, make time to make memories.

family time

Dinner Time is the time for the family to relax and talk about their day. The kids share their adventures and it is a great time to laugh, learn and be together. Whether it’s pizza or Grandma’s famous lasagna on the menu for dinner, make an effort to eat at least one meal per day together as a family. It helps build bonds and memories together and though it may sometimes be crazy, you’ll be glad you did it.

Your day is coming to an end. In preparing for the coming day don’t forget to love yourself. Read a nice book, relax in a bath full of bubbles or just enjoy your favourite TV programme. Give yourself the YOU time before you tuck in bed. Nobody else is as great as you are. You are so special to everyone around you. It is so important that you know that the most important person to love in this life is to love yourself. You are a unique bundle of gifts, talents and experiences that need to be developed and shared with others. If you have gotten this far in the list it is because you are looking for ways to make your life better. The very best place to start is right in front of the mirror and these ideas will help you get a jump start.


You only have one life (YOLO!). What you choose to do with your time here on Earth is what you will be remembered for. Make the moments count. Spend your days finding ways to improve not only your life but the lives of others as well. Learn to make every day the best day through these simple practices.